The Feminine Mistake

Starred review from January 22, 2007
It would be easy to dismiss this as yet another salvo in the mommy wars-—the debate over women opting out of careers to be stay-at-home moms. But Bennetts, a longtime journalist and writer for Vanity Fair
, is more interested in investigating what she sees as the heart of the matter: economics. Through impressive research and interviews with experts and with real women, Bennetts shows that women simply cannot afford to quit their day jobs. Long-term loss of income has a cascading impact in areas such as medical benefits and retirement funds, not to mention a woman's sense of autonomy, derived from financial independence. Further, a career supplies a woman with a measure of security for herself and her children in the event of unexpected sickness or divorce. As any woman who has tried knows, returning to the workforce and finding a well-paying job after an absence of years, or even decades, is difficult. Not so long ago mothers would pin a dollar bill to their daughters' underclothes when they went out on a date in case, for some reason, they needed carfare home. Those mothers knew all to well that without money of your own it's easy to be left stranded. As Bennetts expertly shows, it's still true.

April 30, 2007
Bennetts raises a genuine flag of concern on the playing field of the sexes. Rather than falling into the trap of the so-called “mommy wars” debate, she addresses an important contention of the women’s movement: women’s economic dependency on men. Whether women choose to or are coerced into giving up jobs for their families, Bennetts sees serious problems when capable women remove themselves entirely from the economy. In doing so, they return to the power structure of the past, where ultimately the woman must yield to the economically independent man. While she makes many extremely valid points, her execution falls shorter than one would hope. She proves a bit long-winded, even in this abridgment. Her voice drones on through examples and statistics that pass the point of proof into redundancy, and her voice lacks passion and energy. Nonfiction narrators need to be animated in order to hold the listener’s attention. She speaks in a gentle tone that sometimes comes across as mildly condescending. In the end, despite her flawed delivery, her message certainly demands consideration. Simultaneous release with the Hyperion/Voice hardcover (Reviews, Jan. 22).

January 15, 2008
Passionate and well argued, this program questions the supposed familial rewards of stay-at-home mothering. Bennetts focuses on "economic dependency"when one partner (usually the man) provides the sole financial support for a familyand enumerates the financial, emotional, and legal costs of this arrangement for women. While she covers many points, the studies showing the difficulty women have reentering the work force are particularly grim. Even more surprising, Bennetts found that many young, well-educated women did not want to consider these issues, preferring to think that divorce, illness, the death of a partner, and work reentry difficulties will not happen to them. Bennetts investigates possible reasons for this deliberate myopia and offers countermeasures. This audiobook, along with Robin L. Smith's "Lies at the Altar", are essential listening for women contemplating marriage and a family. Highly recommended for public and school libraries.Kathleen Sullivan, Phoenix P.L.

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